In a Hurry
“Slow and steady wins the race.”
Do we even believe this anymore? No, seriously. Do we follow this in our lives? Nobody wants to slow down. We all want to move to the next best thing ASAP. If you don’t believe me, look around or look within. The slow and steady seem to have disappeared.
When was the last time we decided to slow down? We had to freaking wait for a pandemic forced lockdown to experience some kind of a slow down. Usually, we don’t allow ourselves and others to slow down.
A person going through heartbreak from ending a relationship is not given enough time to feel it, process it, and heal from it. He/she is expected to brush it off and move on to the next best romantic option or focus on his/her career like a raging bull. Why? Because, we aren’t losers. And winners don’t waste time.
We have created such superficial and vain culture that a new mother gets obsessed with the idea of getting her pre-pregnancy body back as fast as she can. We don’t even give her the time to fathom the fact that she has created a new human being, which is supposed to take a toll on her body and mind.
We want her to make the best of her maternity leave and return to the world looking as if nothing really happened. We don’t allow her the time to understand that her life has changed and she has to slowly learn to navigate her new reality. We also have the audacity to ask her if she is planning on having more kids.
I am not against motivating new mothers to take care of their health. I am against the unsolicited advice and pressure they endure in order to be somebody else’s version of a new mother. Women go through a lot of hormonal changes in their life, but the idea of how a perfect woman looks has etched in their minds so prominently that any deviation from it, even a temporary one seems like a failure on their part.
Have you ever noticed how some people get slightly uncomfortable when you mention you are on a sabbatical, taking a career break, or have chosen to go with a less demanding job?
I am all for being ambitious, chasing your goals, hustling hard, breaking glass ceilings, or giving your all to your career. That all sounds fantastic and extremely inspiring. But why are the ones who choose not to take part in any kind of a rat race thought of as unmotivated or unambitious.
Why are those who don’t see their career as a never-ending ladder that they have to keep climbing, made to feel too “easy-going”? Success cannot be defined in such rigid unidirectional manner. It is unique for every individual.
I have known people who had made a plan of their life when they were barely adults. Finish education by 24, get married by 26, have first kid by 29, second kid by 32, get into senior management by 35, and so on. Some followed it to a T. Some tried their best but life had other plans for them. Some realized they were wrong about how they were going about their life. Some chose to do their best and let life take its course.
There are many self-help books out there to guide you about life, love, family, money, health, and career. A lot of credible information is available to help you find that balance in life. But it is up to you to decide what works for you. In this lockdown, don’t always rely on your escape mechanisms. Take some time to self-reflect.
You don’t have to keep yourself constantly engaged in learning a new skill or language every single minute. I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately. And yes, it does get uncomfortable facing your own fears and issues. Accepting your mistakes, shifting your thought process, revamping your ideas, and owning your decisions take courage.
Let’s learn not to be always in a hurry. Let’s not run some race for the sake of it. Let’s not be on a prowl to catch the next shiny thing. Let’s not confuse ambition with ticking off boxes on our list.
