Misogyny and Machismo in the Modern World
“How could they do that?”
“I cannot believe those boys are students of a prominent school in south Delhi.”
“Why did they behave like barbarians?”
“How can they disrespect their female classmates and underage girls like that?”
There were a lot of “hows” and “whys” thrown around, when the heinous incident of the unspeakable activities of Instagram chat group “bois locker room” erupted in the news.
The atrocious news riled me up, but I didn’t find it shocking. I have my reasons. I have tried to sum up some of them below. Let me know what you think.
1. Boys aren’t held accountable for problematic behavior under the shield of “boys will be boys” from the very beginning.
2. Parents would rather spend their energy, money, and time on making their sons doctors and engineers, than raising them into decent human beings. Creating money makers is more profitable than creating true gentlemen.
3. Schools want to spend their resources on sending boys to IITs and NITs, and not a minute on teaching consent and mutual respect.
4. Boys are taught to look at girls as trophies. They are promised that the more success they achieve, the more “attractive” trophy they will get. Boys rarely learn to see girls as humans.
5. Romance, love, attraction, and sex are things that can’t be discussed in a family setting. Ironically, these are the foundations of a happy family.
6. Girls are made to feel insecure and embarrassed of their changing bodies, as if growing into a woman is an act of rebellion in itself. Teen boys giggling over a visible bra strap, mocking girls over period pains and stains, laughing at their hormonal acne, and shaming them for gaining weight and curves during puberty is seen as acceptable and gentle form of harmless playful teasing.
7. Girls are made to feel responsible for attracting the wrong kind of attention from boys and men. We would rather cover them up in potato sacks than expect the world to stop making girls uncomfortable. Confident women, who are comfortable in their own skin and sexuality, are seen as an anomaly. Unfortunately, the society we live in feels the need to “correct” such women, not celebrate them. Women also fall in this vicious trap of slut-shaming and body shaming other women.
8. When the time is just right, the girl has to look attractive enough to be able to get married. Young women are made to see marriage as an opportunity to get a little taste of freedom, instead of companionship and equal partnership. Words like, “Jo karna hai karo, jo pehenna hai peheno, jaha jaana hai jao. Lekin shaadi ke baad (You can do whatever you want, wear whatever you want, and go wherever you want. But only after getting married)”, make girls marry for the wrong reasons.
9. News of crimes against women scare the parents and they end up putting even harsher restraints on girls. Policing their social media presence, bodies, clothing, social circles, desires, and ambitions becomes more severe. The lines between protection and oppression get blurred.
10. Girls and women have been paying for the sins of boys and men since ages. Misogyny is internalized. Patriarchy is celebrated. Feminism is brutalized. Humanity is trivialized. A perfect breeding ground for monsters, making this world a “bois locker room”.
