Who we Love and Why we Love

“Social Distancing” has become the word of the year for 2020. It has to be the norm till we are able to combat the SARS-CoV-2 completely. Social distancing has brought out a gamut of human emotions. Never in my experience, I have seen such a varied response to a health precaution. I am sure you also know people who have eased into social distancing like a hot knife through butter. And, on the other end there are some who are at their wits’ end without an end in sight.

Human psychology is one of the most fascinating areas of study. How we become who we are involves so many factors, that it is difficult to narrow down to just a few. Why don’t introverts stick to introverts? Why don’t extroverts hang out with extroverts? We cannot choose our family, but we do choose our friends and partner (if we are lucky to choose). Why aren’t these people exactly like us? Won’t it be easier to be with people who are our near perfect personality match?

I don’t believe in the “Opposites Attract” theory entirely. If we are drawn to people with different personalities than us, it’s not just because they are different from us. We are not really looking for the yin to our yang. No one is perfect, but most of us are at peace with the way we are. We are not looking for someone to throw our book away and drag us to a party full of strangers. We are not looking for someone to tone down our exuberance and force us to be indoors just for the heck of it. We are simply looking for a genuine connection.

Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer. — Ed Cunningham

Movies have popularized the “Opposites Attract” concept. We love the drama behind a manic pixie dream girl giving a new meaning of life to the brooding complex man living a sheltered, emotionless existence way too much. In reality, people are much different and layered. Trust me, you will get a yelling of a lifetime if you wake me up too early and show me a beautiful sunrise to help me look for a new meaning of life. When I see the kind of people I have been close to besides my family, I see a variety of people. From folks who have to be begged to come out of their room/house to those who can use a shot of tranquilizer to calm down, I have loved them all.

I wasn’t seeking them to complement or complete me. I don’t feel we are looking for a balance particularly. We like others for the way they care, love, and support. We tend to like people on the basis of the way they make us feel, laugh, and think. We look for healthy bonds that make us a better version of ourselves. Introversion, ambiversion, extroversion, and anything else in between and beyond is simply a personality facet.

I am absolutely fascinated by how diverse we are as humans, despite the fact we all are 99.9% genetically similar. We have our own experiences, aspirations, fears, and a sense of self. In spite of our differences, we have never achieved anything alone. We need each other way more than we realize.

Here’s to hoping we win the war against the menacing virus and get to be fully ourselves again soon! Because no matter how introverted you are, having a beer with friends once in a while has an inexplicably healing and uplifting effect, that doesn’t require any doctor’s recommendation.